What's the purpose of spending an excessive amount of time "self-improving" if it's being done completely alone?
Sure, there are several different perspectives and viewpoints to this, and I've been unsure about my own, but I feel that I've realized a few things this past Summer.
In the past, I've amplified the importance of being "independent" a little too much (to myself, not so much out-loud). I don't regret it though, I needed to do that at that time, for myself. I needed to know that I could be okay just being on my own, and that I didn't have to lean on one person or a certain group of people for happiness. I needed to know that because before that, I've been dependent for so long that I lost sight of who I was.
Later on, a few things "got in the way" of me trying to be "independent". The thing is, I was already happy with myself by then, and I felt comfortable with myself, and that was my goal in the first place: to know that I could be fine by myself. I lost sight of that goal over time. I got so used to being on my own, that "letting my guard down" or letting anyone in on my life seemed flat-out wrong. But now I really know that some things can't be helped, like feelings. A friend once told me, "you can control your actions, but not your feelings", and she was right.
After knowing that I could be fine on my own for an amount of time and a few inevitable feelings, I've decided to give some things a try and make an effort to get close to people -- and I mean, truly closer to people. This time, it would be different. I'm not losing my "independence" by spending a lot of quality time with others. Right now, if anyone, and I mean anyone left my life, I know I might not be okay at first, but I also know that I'll be okay in the long run. I know they'd be okay too. People that are dependent stop at thinking "I won't be okay if you leave." I only recently realized this.
That's how life works. People come and go, and then there are the very few that stay over the course of a lifetime. No one can control who stays, and that's why people are so afraid. You can leave, you can block people out of your life, but you can't make anyone stay. Being independent doesn't mean you need to stop yourself from having close-knit relationships with anyone.
And self-improvement doesn't mean you always have to be "independent". You learn to love yourself, then you learn how to love others. That's what, I think, is how to genuinely self-improve, and that's what I'm trying to work on now. This Summer made me realize that I really want to work on being selfless. It's such a basic and cliche "life lesson", but sometimes it's hard to understand some things without experience.
So tell me, what's the point of spending all these countless hours alone?
Sure, there are several different perspectives and viewpoints to this, and I've been unsure about my own, but I feel that I've realized a few things this past Summer.
In the past, I've amplified the importance of being "independent" a little too much (to myself, not so much out-loud). I don't regret it though, I needed to do that at that time, for myself. I needed to know that I could be okay just being on my own, and that I didn't have to lean on one person or a certain group of people for happiness. I needed to know that because before that, I've been dependent for so long that I lost sight of who I was.
Later on, a few things "got in the way" of me trying to be "independent". The thing is, I was already happy with myself by then, and I felt comfortable with myself, and that was my goal in the first place: to know that I could be fine by myself. I lost sight of that goal over time. I got so used to being on my own, that "letting my guard down" or letting anyone in on my life seemed flat-out wrong. But now I really know that some things can't be helped, like feelings. A friend once told me, "you can control your actions, but not your feelings", and she was right.
After knowing that I could be fine on my own for an amount of time and a few inevitable feelings, I've decided to give some things a try and make an effort to get close to people -- and I mean, truly closer to people. This time, it would be different. I'm not losing my "independence" by spending a lot of quality time with others. Right now, if anyone, and I mean anyone left my life, I know I might not be okay at first, but I also know that I'll be okay in the long run. I know they'd be okay too. People that are dependent stop at thinking "I won't be okay if you leave." I only recently realized this.
That's how life works. People come and go, and then there are the very few that stay over the course of a lifetime. No one can control who stays, and that's why people are so afraid. You can leave, you can block people out of your life, but you can't make anyone stay. Being independent doesn't mean you need to stop yourself from having close-knit relationships with anyone.
And self-improvement doesn't mean you always have to be "independent". You learn to love yourself, then you learn how to love others. That's what, I think, is how to genuinely self-improve, and that's what I'm trying to work on now. This Summer made me realize that I really want to work on being selfless. It's such a basic and cliche "life lesson", but sometimes it's hard to understand some things without experience.
So tell me, what's the point of spending all these countless hours alone?
